Progeria League Draft Order and Stats
Much like the NBA draft, our draft selection will take place as 12th to 1st, with little paper balls with everyone's name written on them selected from a bowl. I hope there is enough trust that I didn't rigg this, you blags.
With the 12th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...Justin Wexler's Team Intrascrotal.
With the 11th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...new owner Alex Foucre, taking over for team Big Pancakes.
With the 10th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...commissioner Scott Skillings, manager of the Third Reich's Stroikas
With the 9th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...the new guy that we don't know yet. Jared's friend Frank? Jake's brother? Some other guy? We'll see.
With the 8th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...singer Seal's worst enemy, Owen Fiene and his Black Sox
With the 7th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...Mr. Progeria himself, Yamis Yames Yards and his team which will not contain the player it is named after in 2008, Thomies Homies
With the 6th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...the unluckiest sabermetrician I know, E.G. Marsh's MutinyOnTheValverde2.
With the 5th pick in the Progeria League 2008 draft...Jared's STOP!...HamelsTime. Who will not prosper under new league regulations.
With the 4th pick in the Progeria League 2008 draft...returning champion sans his best pitcher, Jake and the RIP Francisco Liriano's
With the 3rd selection in the Progeria League draft in the year of our Lord, 2008...Wendell's 2002 all-star team da' Blurnsballers
With the 2nd selection in da Progeria League draft for da 2008 draft...newcomer, and known to a few in this league as "Cubs-Facebook-guy," Scott Krischke.
And with the 1st overall pick in the 2008 Progeria League draft...veteran (like, literally a "fuckin' veteran"), Brandon and his Iraq-depleted team Pedro Borbons.
The stats for the 2008 year will be as follows:
Offensive statistics; R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG and OPS
Pitching statistics; W, HLD, SV, K, ERA, and WHIP.
With the 12th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...Justin Wexler's Team Intrascrotal.
With the 11th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...new owner Alex Foucre, taking over for team Big Pancakes.
With the 10th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...commissioner Scott Skillings, manager of the Third Reich's Stroikas
With the 9th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...the new guy that we don't know yet. Jared's friend Frank? Jake's brother? Some other guy? We'll see.
With the 8th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...singer Seal's worst enemy, Owen Fiene and his Black Sox
With the 7th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...Mr. Progeria himself, Yamis Yames Yards and his team which will not contain the player it is named after in 2008, Thomies Homies
With the 6th selection in the Progeria League 2008 draft...the unluckiest sabermetrician I know, E.G. Marsh's MutinyOnTheValverde2.
With the 5th pick in the Progeria League 2008 draft...Jared's STOP!...HamelsTime. Who will not prosper under new league regulations.
With the 4th pick in the Progeria League 2008 draft...returning champion sans his best pitcher, Jake and the RIP Francisco Liriano's
With the 3rd selection in the Progeria League draft in the year of our Lord, 2008...Wendell's 2002 all-star team da' Blurnsballers
With the 2nd selection in da Progeria League draft for da 2008 draft...newcomer, and known to a few in this league as "Cubs-Facebook-guy," Scott Krischke.
And with the 1st overall pick in the 2008 Progeria League draft...veteran (like, literally a "fuckin' veteran"), Brandon and his Iraq-depleted team Pedro Borbons.
The stats for the 2008 year will be as follows:
Offensive statistics; R, HR, RBI, SB, AVG and OPS
Pitching statistics; W, HLD, SV, K, ERA, and WHIP.
posted by Scott at 10:42 PM
2 Comments:
I think I'm going to invent post-sabremetrics in order to explain all my woes. I'll measure certain sabremetricians (Value Over Replacement Sabremetrician) and sabr-formulas (Marginal Formula Value) in order to calculate the projected accuracy of the projected sabremetric stats/statisticians.
i picked twelve names out of a bowl. they pick names out of a lottery-type machine.
Post a Comment
<< Home